The Need to Write
I was just rereading through some of my old posts, back when I regularly blogged on my MySpace page. I was a pretty solid writer for a good two years or so, and then it just seemed to quickly come to a halt. I was hoping to maybe find the event that sparked my writing or find whatever happened in my life that made me suddenly stop writing so prolifically. I had already been a blogger on LiveJournal throughout high school, but the intensity in my writing really picked up during my first year in college. Maybe some of it had to do with all the new experiences that I was going through in my life, which makes sense, but then what happened? It’s not like I just stopped experiencing life or having fun for the last two years. Even my journals are pretty spare, unless you go back a couple of years. It just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
I know I use to blame a lot of it on my Public Relations classes at school, since they were stifling my creativity. It really does take a good bit of effort to go from using an above-average vocabulary to having to write on the level of a 6th grader. I remember struggling to keep my sentences and words simple in my first PR class. But, I learned, and soon developed an AP writing style. Now, I’m trying to shake all that AP nonsense out of my head and go back to my creative writing, which was always way more fulfilling than writing a bunch of press releases all day.
But I really don’t think that’s it; it was just a good way to disguise my actual problem. I wrote quite a bit while I was living in London in July 2007, but then as soon as I returned, I just couldn’t pick my pen up anymore. I’d try, I remember having my journal by my bed, but anytime I’d have a thought and I’d go to write it down, it would immediately disappear. Then I thought that maybe I could start writing in a blog again, which fell flat. And now, I’m in danger of doing the same thing all over again.
This time I’m determined though. I’m going to start making myself write every day, no matter how long or how short the story may be. It doesn’t matter what it is, or if anyone even reads it, but I need to start writing again. Besides music and photography, writing was the only other things that I really found joy in doing. I was a happier person when I was writing on a regular basis, that much is definitely true. And it’s time to recapture that happier person from my past. I know that my head wants to write, but it’s almost like it’s too afraid to. However, there’s no more time left to be afraid – now is the perfect time to react.
I will do this. I will be a “writer” again. My brain and I just need to do some re-syncing.
I do know that I use to end my blogs with my current music and/or a quote. Maybe I should pick that tradition back up too.
Listening to:
Pandora Radio, Duran Duran Station: Talk Talk – “It’s My Life”
